Polaski on Polaski. Either Gay sex with my twin, or an interview with myself.
I was lucky enough to get the chance to sit down with Jason Polaski for an interview. He usually doesn’t give interviews, but it helps that we’re the same person. I have indulged in the ultimate act of arrogance. I have interviewed myself, and the really sick thing is that I actually enjoyed it a lot, I babbled on to myself for quite a while. The interview’s below. Jason asks the questions, Polaski answers them.
Jason. So, how bout you introduce yourself.
Polaski. This is stupid as shit. Its a gimmick.
Jason. Yeah, but its your gimmick, so why don’t you go ahead.
Polaski. This is a goddamned stupid thing to do, but ok. I’m Jason Polaski, I go to college at the university of Connecticut, and I’ve started a bblog.
Jason. Speaking of that, what’s up with the blog anyway? Whose going to read it?
Polaski. That’s what I’m trying to find out. You hear about these guys who get millions of hits every day, and they aren’t even famous or good looking, at least, they weren’t famous before they had a blog. Its just Joe shmow, or Jill Shmill, for that matter, and they decided to post about begonia’s or there yeast infection or politics or books or whatever and suddenly they have this huge following. I wanted to see if starting from absolutely nothing I could achieve something like that, or at least modest success.
Jason. So what’s the blog about.
Polaski. Search me.
Jason. No, seriously.
Polaski. Seriously, I have no idea. The title of it is Pages and Rages, because I read a lot of books and get pissed off about a lot of stuff, and because those two things are the most prevalent things in my intellectual life, I figured it was a natural starting point. But honestly, if I spend more than fifteen minutes thinking about it, I’ll probably end up posting it. Whatever occupies my interest will be blogged about which cuts down on the blog’s coherency, but will keep me amused.
Jason. So what’s the reaction been like so far?
Polaski. Shit. Seriously, I’m about to pull a Phoebe Prince.
Jason. Right. So lets get to the personal stuff. You got any religious views.
Polaski. Yeah, but they aren’t flattering.
Jason. Can you elaborate on that?
Polaski. Its all shit. Its all just a big mythology, doesn’t matter what the religion is.
Jason. So you hate religious people.
Polaski. Not at all, some religious people are nice, some of them are friends of mine. I just view the entire thing… Like model trains. Some people go nuts over model trains. They have entire countries of model trains, schedules, different engines. They go down to the basement and tinker with the things. When they ask me if I want to take a look, I do, but just a look. I’m not going to go look at model trains all the time, because that’s not my thing. I respect there interest, even if I think its a little weird, but its just a part of there life I don’t really care to be involved in. That’s basically how I feel about religion.
Jason. OK, political views.
Polaski. Somewhere between a rightward leaning fiscal conservative and a leftward leaning social democrat. I hate the moral majority, hate the socialists claiming to be democrats. Its complicated. Sort of libertarian, but some libertarians are also crazy. Economically, I’m pretty conservative, I want low taxes, free markets, that kind of thing, but socially, I want really the same thing. The government to allow any action that doesn’t hurt anyone. I’m for legalization of pot, guns, abortion the death penalty and I really hope that smoking indoors is brought back before next winter.
Jason. So sort of libertarian.
Polaski. Yeah, in a lot of ways. The government should stay out of a lot of things. Mairage, for example. Its not the governments business who marries who, or whose fucking whom. It shouldn’t be a concern. I also think the government shouldn’t be fucking about with companies too much. Corporate taxes should be low, and regulations should be made to address a need, not to craft policy. Companies shouldn’t be allowed to hurt people, by poisoning the environment or starting monopolies, but they shouldn’t be gelded just to appease the spirit of Ted Kennedy. But I also think a lot of spending is extremely vital in certain area’s like defense and education, which a lot of libertarians will disagree with. I think the government should be very involved in some things, and really leave other’s alone.
Jason. Got a favorite brand of cigarette?
Polaski. Anything without a filter, or newports. I smoke a pipe, cigars, and hookah. Really, if it burns and has nicotine, I’m down.
Jason. Favorite drink?
Polaski. Beer, either Coors or Guinness, anything cheap on tap. Gin and tonic, good red wine. I hate shots of straight liquor, but always end up pounding them anyway.
Jason. What do you like for music.
Polaski. Mainly shitty rap. I love going to clubs and listening to awful rap music, it sets the perfect atmosphere for what I’m looking for.
Jason. And what’s that?
Polaski. No comment.
Jason. Any other music you’re into besides rap?
Polaski. I’m really digging a lot of classical lately. Bach’s the shit, can’t go wrong with anything by Bach. Vivaldi, similarly is great. Beethoven is also solid. Handle, Montiverty, and lately I’ve been listening to a lot of misorski.
Jason. OK, so part of your blog is about books, what do you read?
Polaski. Honestly, I’ll read anything. Its a matter of what I can get my hands on. I was stuck reading books written before 1950 a year or so ago, so I read them. But if have my choice, a lot of science fiction and fantasy, and a lot of biography and history. Some mystery, some other random stuff that doesn’t necessarily have a category.
Jason. Any final remarks?
Polaski. Read the blog. Tell your friends. Make me rich. I’m on twitter as Jasonpolaski, follow me there for pithy updates
Jason. Thank’s for the interview.
Polaski. Shut up, jackass, this is the beginning of multiple personality disorder. It creeps me out.
Pages & Rages 
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