you know you have a serious adiction to nicotine if…
1. you smoke more than a pack a day.
2. You have become adept at lighting one cigarette off the butt of the last.
3. if you have sold things more important than cigarettes to buy cigarettes. These sold items include.
1. schoolbooks.
2. sexual favors.
3. hair.
4. clothing.
5. organs.
6. an ipod.
4. you roll cigarettes from the contents of your ashtray.
5. you have rolled cigarettes with newspaper and then tried to justify this as no big deal at all.
6. You have, at one point, panhandled for cigarette money
7. You have bought cigarettes with dimes and pennies
8. you have tried to snort the ashes in your ashtray.
9. lacking enough money for a pack of cigarettes, you buy chewing tabbaco or dip instead.
10. You dip or chew in public, even though you look like an antiquated freak.
11. You tell yourself that you cannot go outside without a cigarette.
12. When confronted with the choice of either buying food or smokes, you don’t see a choice at all.
13. you stop midcoitis because you decide you need a cigarette.
14. You argue with the person that you are sleeping with, explaining that 13 was a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and that they would understand if they were a smoker.
15. You feel a thrill whenever you turn a nonsmoker into a smoker.
16. you can roll a cigarette
1. in a car
2. in the rain
3. while drunk.
4. while really drunk.
5. while puking from being drunk.
6. while smoking.
7. with one hand.
18. If, once, while trying to quit smoking, you told the waitrous at your local pizza place that lunch could not possibley cost fifteen dollars and especially because the waitrous was ugly and abracive.
19. If, while trying to quit smoking, you lean towards people who do smoke and try to snort up secondhand smoke.
20. If out of cigarettes you feel that life may just not be worth risking at all.
21. If you view lung cancer as an eventual impediment to further smoking.
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